One final update

I can't believe it has gotten to the point where I feel compelled to say this, but...

 

April Fool's.

 

(just in case anyone hasn't yet figured out that the entire thing was a scam. Nice work, everyone...)

 

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Screw that...

But so long Chad.

Hope we didn't distress ya, Joe.  :)

I was a tad nervous. I don't want to have to read TWO blogs. That's just too much work.

~manly guy-hugs~

 

Nope, still just us.  

 

But
I DO wish that we had gotten cell phones and I-pods and all that other
cool stuff. The Good Doctor was making me envious. 

cell phones and I-pods and all that other cool stuff.
=========

...apparently, it was trying to get the Guitar Hero perk for Trans that was the deal breaker

Awwwwww....

 

It's too bad, too. I've only played once, and would have loved to have my own....

Damn, we're smooth.

(But mostly Cubnut, Rob and Ruz. They did virtually all of the heavy lifting. I just got to play myself - an angry crank with an over-inflated sense of dis-enfranchisement and isolation.)

you're still an ass. :)

 

 

Takes one to know one!

Manny agrees...

So does Heinie Massman

Speaking of Heinie Massman, where the hell was AZPhil during all this?

Umm... I think AZ Phil may actually have a life.

AZ Phil doesn't have time for our tomfoolery...

...so no jism?

ha

But how are we going to fund improvements to the site now??????

Rob will be posting embedded videos of him dancing and singing Karaoke to "Let's Go Crazy", then asking for donations.

That would be counterproductive cos then you'd have to start paying us to come here.

Boooooooo --- saying "this isn't a joke" in the set-up is seriously bad form.

But, as an off-day actviity -- worth the effort.

Strong performances by the entire ensemble cast.

sorry about that...not up on my April Fool's Day etiquette!

 

in case anyone missed the writers page
http://www.thecubreporter.com/our-writers

Well that was fun.

What better way to spend day two of the season, an off day, after losing the opener:

Distraction.

Now is Chad going to live up to his word? Or was he in on it too?

I'm curious about that one, myself...

 

Maybe he's already over there, waiting for you.

THE perfect conclusion to this day would be to discover that BCB
readers bought in to all of this, and were saying "Why the heck are
they getting advertising and cell phones and stuff, and we're getting
Trans?  What sort of trade is THAT?"

100% certain Chad was playing along...he's not a fan of the BCB.

I hate that fucking board. You couldn't pay me to be a regular there.

I knew it all was a joke, i thought I'd have some fun too. And I wanted to see if people would applaud my departure or mourn me. I got neither, really.

Heh.  Nicely played, Chad!

I think everyone was just trying to figure what the fuck was actually going on.

At first I was a little confused but when Trans lost his shit and went berserk at Ruz, I knew it was a gag.

Too convoluted for me.

Not me. I was certain that Trans was playing it straight. He's just that arrogant and self-involved in real life. I can get away with saying that because he and I go all the way back to summer camp together. You think he's pompous now? You should have seen him at Camp Tawonga. He boycotted the canteen for a week because they started selling Pepsi. He's an asshat but I love him.

I am assuming Kerry's performance was all part of the scam? Maybe his calendar was off because of the leap year and the earlier daylight savings time.

i don't give a horse's patoot if it's april fool's or not. i just want my farking free phone.

You guys are brutal.

You have ruined my day of listening to the radio of reports of aliens landing in New Jersey.

And Wrigley Field? Anyone see that POS movie the Comebacks? The crappy football cliche' coached by Lambeau Fields?

Laughing is fun. I feel like a haiku!

Only T.C.R.
Could make an April Fools joke
Seem fake, real, then fake

I am addicted
To writing silly haikus
Someone please help me

You think Haikus are fun? You should try your hand at the six word memoir.

One of my favorites is "Put whole self in. Shook about."

Put hand in pants, shook about.

It was good joke, but how is all this un-professionalism going to look your new sponsor? I can't imagine Motorola is going to like it's new sponsorship to begin like this.

And for the love of Jesus Presented by AT&T, can't you take down that logo now?

Shocking!!! Shocking I tell ya!!

I feel like I was given a day-long shocker by TCR. Thanks guys.

God, I feel bad for Joe.  We owe him a drink.

Yes you do. You shouldn't fuck around with peace-makers.

But actually, I was THANKING you for the shocker. Who said that it was a bad thing?

Ok good.  Last thing I want is for fellow pacifists to put me on a hit-list....  how embarassing!

Word, but what great irony! I don't have a hit-list, though I do have a piercing-sarcasm-list. You don't want to be on it.

I just traded my Samsung for a new Motorola phone at lunch to support you guys..and I come back to see this?

What do I do now?

I can't imagine Motorola is going to like it's new sponsorship to begin like this.
============
Moto-rola is probably too busy splitting up into two parts, separating the cell phone bus. from everything else and running like hell from investor/troublemaker Carl Ichan. As long as they can keep their ads up on that green screen behind home plate at Wrigley...all will be OK.

Oddly, I see a bizarro parallel between the above wrt Sam Zell and MLB.

http://www.supermanhomepage.com/comics/who/who-int...

Nice work all around. The whole thing was good but the whole Trans' tirade was a stroke of genius. It too me a little while to figure out that was part of the act. When both Rob and Ruz responded within ten minutes though, I knew. That and the bit about potato salad.

But hey, I haven't had that much fun with the lame April Fool's Day in a long time. Kudos.

I started to suspect when I read crunch's post, but when Trans wrote "cripes", I knew it was a sham!! Noone writes "cripes" unless they are joking!

Aww cripes, I really must be the only person left who uses that word.  I blame Mamma Trans.

 

 

I'm really tickled by your use of "cripes."

Just be thankful Mamma didn't teach you to whoopsiedaisy

I thought Trans threatening to go to BCB was the true giveaway...I mean no one could get that pissed to do something like that. :)

 

Bah.  For all you know they have been trying to poach me.  Where's my raise?

you are a valuable commodity to TCR (presented by Motorola), so I will offer a 300% raise on your current salary.

 

sweeeeeeeeeet

Do the math...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cripes.

Who wouldn't be gellin' like a felon to be tellin' their tales with Al Yellon? I mean, really...

I'll reset the site tonight btw...to reveal our actual new sponsor, Sam Zell!!!!

Video analyzing K-Fuk's homerun cut from yesterday's game. Looks like he doesn't have a single hole in that swing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

No, no, Trans. You are NOT the only one whouses that word. I think we have talked about this before, but I think it one of the most underrated words in the english language for comic value. I have been teaching my kids to say it. There are few things as funny to me as hearing my 3-year-old son say "Aw, cripes!".

Good call, I'd forgotten that.  The army of cripes-users grows larger...

 

And Carlos, you got me, too.  In fact, I didn't even know what a rick roll was, until I got rick roll'd.

 

 

You ass, Carlos! You got me!

Fantastic job!

I figured it was an AFD joke the whole day, up until I saw Trans' explosion. At that point I started to wonder if it was legit...

Dammit Carlos. You suck.

WAIT A MINUTE!!

Does this mean you are NOT gonna optimize for mobile use??!!

DAMN!

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  • How about Kyle Farnsworth? I know he was consistently upper 90s.

    videographer 1 hour 53 min ago view
  • If he puts up Soriano numbers I will be ecstatic

    jacos 3 hours 41 min ago view
  • I think Javy is learning--but he's learning to make contact, not learning to lay off pitches out of the zone. A quick glance at his plate discipline numbers on Fangraphs shows that his contact rate is up, especially his contact rate out of the zone, but his swing rate is up too, especially his swing rate out of the zone.

    Charlie 4 hours 16 min ago view
  • I definitely saw ballpark radar guns go up to 102 on Kerry Wood back when he was still a starter, but who knows how accurate they were.

    Charlie 4 hours 29 min ago view
  • They've mentioned Henry Rodriguez (2013), Chris Carpenter, and Andrew Cashner as Cubs who have gone 100+. They said Rodriguez was tops at 100.8. Who knows before 2008?

    QuietMan 5 hours 53 min ago view
  • Regarding Heyward--

    He'll play regardless of what he does, just like Soriano played for seven years before they finally ditched him.

    What can they do? All I can think of is they can keep hiring and firing hitting coaches until they find one who can get him to stop hitting balls with the handle of the bat.

    (All those broken bats added to his paycheck is just a bit much.)

    VirginiaPhil 5 hours 54 min ago view
  • Lester will probably be all right.

    I think Arrieta might have added too much muscle preparing for that butt-naked ESPN photo shoot. Pitchers are supposed to be loose, not muscled up.

    Seriously.

    VirginiaPhil 6 hours 45 sec ago view
  • I have basically written off Heyward for this year -- if you are working on major swing changes in late July, you are going to struggle. Hopefully, he can be more productive at the plate next year. It will be interesting to see what they do with him if the Cardinals keep winning and close the gap. Heyward is dead last in the NL in slugging and in the bottom 5 in OPS -- yet still has a positive WAR. Hunh.

    billybucks 6 hours 4 min ago view
  • Has anybody in a Cub uniform ever thrown a ball 103 before?

    VirginiaPhil 6 hours 7 min ago view
  • He certainly looks better, no doubt, and is a different player than what we saw when he first came up. Full credit to him for changing his approach and saving his career.

    But he has zero walks in 35AB since the break, and 10 in 251 AB all year. He does seem to be able to hit some pitches out of the zone, but, a guy with his pop should be drawing more walks. However, it's easy to forget he is still only 23, and probably trying to make an impact to prove he should be an everyday player.

    billybucks 6 hours 16 min ago view
  • The usual suspects, Molina and Wong. Gyorko drew a walk with two outs, none on. I recall us (particularly Szczur and Bryant) swinging at everything Familia threw.

    VirginiaPhil 6 hours 18 min ago view
  • Yup. Thanks Q

    The E-Man 6 hours 24 min ago view
  • QuietMan 6 hours 32 min ago view
  • I for one hope that Sosa comes back soon.

    Rob Richardson 6 hours 51 min ago view
  • O/B interesting you should mention that. Google ESPN Science Aroldis Chapman and you'll be treated to how his mechanics and delivery are possibly historic. It's the 120% of his body stretch plus the torque. They compare him to the Unit and NRyan.

    The E-Man 7 hours 29 min ago view
  • Amazing how much lower the production gets when Bryant runs into a mini-cold streak. He doesn't stay cold for long. If just one of Zobrist or, gulp, Heyward, gets hot, they oughta have one more really nice winning streak in them. Having a closer that you have absolute confidence in can't hurt.

    Old and Blue 8 hours 14 min ago view