One final update

I can't believe it has gotten to the point where I feel compelled to say this, but...

 

April Fool's.

 

(just in case anyone hasn't yet figured out that the entire thing was a scam. Nice work, everyone...)

 

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Screw that...

But so long Chad.

Hope we didn't distress ya, Joe.  :)

I was a tad nervous. I don't want to have to read TWO blogs. That's just too much work.

~manly guy-hugs~

 

Nope, still just us.  

 

But
I DO wish that we had gotten cell phones and I-pods and all that other
cool stuff. The Good Doctor was making me envious. 

cell phones and I-pods and all that other cool stuff.
=========

...apparently, it was trying to get the Guitar Hero perk for Trans that was the deal breaker

Awwwwww....

 

It's too bad, too. I've only played once, and would have loved to have my own....

Damn, we're smooth.

(But mostly Cubnut, Rob and Ruz. They did virtually all of the heavy lifting. I just got to play myself - an angry crank with an over-inflated sense of dis-enfranchisement and isolation.)

you're still an ass. :)

 

 

Takes one to know one!

Manny agrees...

So does Heinie Massman

Speaking of Heinie Massman, where the hell was AZPhil during all this?

Umm... I think AZ Phil may actually have a life.

AZ Phil doesn't have time for our tomfoolery...

...so no jism?

ha

But how are we going to fund improvements to the site now??????

Rob will be posting embedded videos of him dancing and singing Karaoke to "Let's Go Crazy", then asking for donations.

That would be counterproductive cos then you'd have to start paying us to come here.

Boooooooo --- saying "this isn't a joke" in the set-up is seriously bad form.

But, as an off-day actviity -- worth the effort.

Strong performances by the entire ensemble cast.

sorry about that...not up on my April Fool's Day etiquette!

 

in case anyone missed the writers page
http://www.thecubreporter.com/our-writers

Well that was fun.

What better way to spend day two of the season, an off day, after losing the opener:

Distraction.

Now is Chad going to live up to his word? Or was he in on it too?

I'm curious about that one, myself...

 

Maybe he's already over there, waiting for you.

THE perfect conclusion to this day would be to discover that BCB
readers bought in to all of this, and were saying "Why the heck are
they getting advertising and cell phones and stuff, and we're getting
Trans?  What sort of trade is THAT?"

100% certain Chad was playing along...he's not a fan of the BCB.

I hate that fucking board. You couldn't pay me to be a regular there.

I knew it all was a joke, i thought I'd have some fun too. And I wanted to see if people would applaud my departure or mourn me. I got neither, really.

Heh.  Nicely played, Chad!

I think everyone was just trying to figure what the fuck was actually going on.

At first I was a little confused but when Trans lost his shit and went berserk at Ruz, I knew it was a gag.

Too convoluted for me.

Not me. I was certain that Trans was playing it straight. He's just that arrogant and self-involved in real life. I can get away with saying that because he and I go all the way back to summer camp together. You think he's pompous now? You should have seen him at Camp Tawonga. He boycotted the canteen for a week because they started selling Pepsi. He's an asshat but I love him.

I am assuming Kerry's performance was all part of the scam? Maybe his calendar was off because of the leap year and the earlier daylight savings time.

i don't give a horse's patoot if it's april fool's or not. i just want my farking free phone.

You guys are brutal.

You have ruined my day of listening to the radio of reports of aliens landing in New Jersey.

And Wrigley Field? Anyone see that POS movie the Comebacks? The crappy football cliche' coached by Lambeau Fields?

Laughing is fun. I feel like a haiku!

Only T.C.R.
Could make an April Fools joke
Seem fake, real, then fake

I am addicted
To writing silly haikus
Someone please help me

You think Haikus are fun? You should try your hand at the six word memoir.

One of my favorites is "Put whole self in. Shook about."

Put hand in pants, shook about.

It was good joke, but how is all this un-professionalism going to look your new sponsor? I can't imagine Motorola is going to like it's new sponsorship to begin like this.

And for the love of Jesus Presented by AT&T, can't you take down that logo now?

Shocking!!! Shocking I tell ya!!

I feel like I was given a day-long shocker by TCR. Thanks guys.

God, I feel bad for Joe.  We owe him a drink.

Yes you do. You shouldn't fuck around with peace-makers.

But actually, I was THANKING you for the shocker. Who said that it was a bad thing?

Ok good.  Last thing I want is for fellow pacifists to put me on a hit-list....  how embarassing!

Word, but what great irony! I don't have a hit-list, though I do have a piercing-sarcasm-list. You don't want to be on it.

I just traded my Samsung for a new Motorola phone at lunch to support you guys..and I come back to see this?

What do I do now?

I can't imagine Motorola is going to like it's new sponsorship to begin like this.
============
Moto-rola is probably too busy splitting up into two parts, separating the cell phone bus. from everything else and running like hell from investor/troublemaker Carl Ichan. As long as they can keep their ads up on that green screen behind home plate at Wrigley...all will be OK.

Oddly, I see a bizarro parallel between the above wrt Sam Zell and MLB.

http://www.supermanhomepage.com/comics/who/who-int...

Nice work all around. The whole thing was good but the whole Trans' tirade was a stroke of genius. It too me a little while to figure out that was part of the act. When both Rob and Ruz responded within ten minutes though, I knew. That and the bit about potato salad.

But hey, I haven't had that much fun with the lame April Fool's Day in a long time. Kudos.

I started to suspect when I read crunch's post, but when Trans wrote "cripes", I knew it was a sham!! Noone writes "cripes" unless they are joking!

Aww cripes, I really must be the only person left who uses that word.  I blame Mamma Trans.

 

 

I'm really tickled by your use of "cripes."

Just be thankful Mamma didn't teach you to whoopsiedaisy

I thought Trans threatening to go to BCB was the true giveaway...I mean no one could get that pissed to do something like that. :)

 

Bah.  For all you know they have been trying to poach me.  Where's my raise?

you are a valuable commodity to TCR (presented by Motorola), so I will offer a 300% raise on your current salary.

 

sweeeeeeeeeet

Do the math...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cripes.

Who wouldn't be gellin' like a felon to be tellin' their tales with Al Yellon? I mean, really...

I'll reset the site tonight btw...to reveal our actual new sponsor, Sam Zell!!!!

Video analyzing K-Fuk's homerun cut from yesterday's game. Looks like he doesn't have a single hole in that swing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

No, no, Trans. You are NOT the only one whouses that word. I think we have talked about this before, but I think it one of the most underrated words in the english language for comic value. I have been teaching my kids to say it. There are few things as funny to me as hearing my 3-year-old son say "Aw, cripes!".

Good call, I'd forgotten that.  The army of cripes-users grows larger...

 

And Carlos, you got me, too.  In fact, I didn't even know what a rick roll was, until I got rick roll'd.

 

 

You ass, Carlos! You got me!

Fantastic job!

I figured it was an AFD joke the whole day, up until I saw Trans' explosion. At that point I started to wonder if it was legit...

Dammit Carlos. You suck.

WAIT A MINUTE!!

Does this mean you are NOT gonna optimize for mobile use??!!

DAMN!

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  • bryant's in the dugout filling a police report BECAUSE HE JUST GOT ROBBED.

    f'n cabrerra...

    crunch 37 min 15 sec ago view
  • chapman showing up and available tomorrow night.

    i'm sure he'll be a bit hit. hope he doesn't choke. dude has a rifle for an arm. he'll add a bit of punch to the bullpen.

    crunch 38 min 20 sec ago view
  • the 'crosstown classic' sure has lost it's magic with interleague. the excitement level is barely noticable...maybe it's a bit more hype in the city, itself.

    crunch 42 min 40 sec ago view
  • Well he didn't leave a mark so its not that bad.

    Fuck that.

    Facts:

    He choked her.

    Her brother tackled him to separate him.

    He cooled off by shooting his gun in the garage.

    I don't have to like him on the team I follow.

    And you are others are free to not give a shit about his personal misgivings if you so choose as well.

     

     

    Rob G. 1 hour 1 min ago view
  • Sure, no marks and some inconsistencies in the witness's statements. But firing your gun into garage wall immediately after an argument and punching out your car window is still threatening and out of control behavior. There was certainly enough for MLB to think it warranted a 30-game suspension.

    Charlie 2 hours 12 min ago view
  • I'd prefer they be flexible with the closing situation depending on matchups. You're not really adding a lefty reliever if you use him strictly as a closer.

    Charlie 2 hours 13 min ago view
  • Stockpiling young talent isn't only for trading for someone like Chapman though. Even with an elite closer winning the World Series is basically a crap shoot so the key is to get to the playoffs as much as possible and not just mortgage everything on one year. Once you get there an elite bullpen certainly helps but the playoffs can be won by one hitter or starting pitcher getting hot (Murphy, Molina, Baumgardner) and a closer might not be able to stop that.

    johann 2 hours 37 min ago view
  • I'm also not crazy about press convictions. As the police report noted, there were no marks on the lady in question. There's a TMZ link (of course) to her police pictures, as well.

    I think the only way this trade goes real bad is if Cubbery intervenes and Chapman is suddenly bad for some reason.

    Old and Blue 2 hours 40 min ago view
  • I am right there with you closing in on 60.

    I don't care that much about "mortgaging" one player who is not only blocked by two guys, but is not ready to hit the majors for at least a couple years.

    There is no reason why this team, this year, can't have a real shot at something NONE of us have experienced.

    Further, I don't feel that even if they fall short that they have ruined their farm system.

    I have made my opinion clear here, with others, Warren was shit on the Cubs save one spot start.

    The E-Man 4 hours 10 min ago view
  • Trading for Warren, Warren sucking, getting Warren back for Chapman plus 3 prospects, sounds like Revenge of The Yankees on the former Boston executive. Old rivalries never die.

    I pray to the heavens above Chapman doesn't suck for some reason, or he'll be booed out of town faster than a Todd Hundley revival meeting.

    Old and Blue 4 hours 18 min ago view
  • I'm kind of nostalgic for the Schwarber-for-Miller rumors.

    Brick 4 hours 29 min ago view
  • This offseason, after some ridiculous playoff run and Chapman saving every game from here until the end of the postseason striking out 27/9innings, I welcome anyone to quote this thread and call me a dummy: I hate this trade, and my hate is 2 parts Chapman makes this team less likeable and 1 part that's a ridiculous overpay for 30 regular season innings and, at tops, 10 postseason innings. Already hoping they don't extend him.

    Charlie 4 hours 31 min ago view
  • btw...Thanks AZ Phil. I'm really enjoying your take on this trade.

    Cubster 4 hours 54 min ago view
  • I'm a bit disappointed on the Warren experience. Essentially they gave Castro away for crickets (OK, well they signed Zobrist with the Castro salary dump). Otherwise one might look at it as Chapman for Castro and our #1 minors prospect (Torres) + McKinney/Crawford. Seems pricey for a 2 month rental. We will see if this price tag is that steep in a relative way based on the remaining deadline deals for relievers.

    Cubster 4 hours 54 min ago view
  • Yep. One of the great things about this team (in addition to being really good at baseball) was the "likable" factor. Feels a bit different now. Who knows...maybe Chapman will be the king of the dance parties.

    billybucks 5 hours 3 min ago view
  • Here are some possible corresponding minor league moves we might see in the aftermath  of the Chapman trade: 

    SOUTH BEND to MYRTLE BEACH: OF Donnie Dewees and INF Bryant Flete  

    EUGENE to SOUTH BEND: OF Robert Garcia and INF Vimael Machin 

    There is really no reason to replace Billy McKinney at Tennessee because both Chris Coghlan and Jorge Soler are doing their rehab at Tennessee.  

    And there are plenty of pitchers at Iowa. No need to replace Warren at AAA. .  

    Arizona Phil 5 hours 23 min ago view