Sunday Funnies

Click on the image for the full-size cartoon and story...

You know, just when you think you've seen it all at Wrigley Field.

Somewhere around the 7th or 8th during an Astros game, I'm in the men's room.

I'm sure you've heard the descriptions or even been there, but the layout includes a sort of 5' tall wall in the center of the room, and along both sides are long, metal troughs.

So, you wouldn't call this a place with alot of privacy.

Etiquette demands you look up or maybe straight ahead at the guy across from you.

But out of the corner of my eye I thought the guy next to me was looking in a little mirror or something weird.

Couldn't help it.

I looked.

Guy was writing an email.

Just hangin' free, both hands emailing away and peeing at the same time.

He was so engrossed he didn't notice me staring.

On one hand, maybe it was admirable: not wasting baseball-viewing time with emailing.

On the other hand, he was probably on Twitter, writing "I am peeing in the men's room at Wrigley..."

But without either hand, it was just plain gross.

I scooched down away from him since I was wearing flip-flops.


 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

Comments

nice cartoon but if it is supposed to be Wrigley shouldn't there be an Alien or Predator type thing coming screaming out of the toilet and cutting his nads off with huge incisors?

He's got a hands-free device.

Ryno gets "Post of the Day" award!

didn't Illinois legislature just pass a law prohibiting this?

Illinois House Bill 71
This bill was approved by the House and Senate in May of 2009 and now (July of 2009) and just signed into law by the Governor. House Bill 71, titled "Use of Electronic Communication Devices While Peeing" on the National Conference of State Legislatures NCLS website amends the Illinois code to prohibit the use of electronic communication devices while trough urinating, specifically.

http://tinyurl.com/mabkhd

gotta like Tim's designs on this guy too...

http://www.cubby-blue.com/.a/6a00d83451fe4669e2011...

This one has always been my favorite:

http://www.cubby-blue.com/my_weblog/2009/06/sam-ze...

i was suppose to post that one last week, but techinical difficulties and me going on vacation prevented it.

Might it be a good idea for the Cubs to make a run at John Smoltz? He was DFA'd earlier this week.

True, he's been piss poor for the Red Sox this year, but he's been relatively effective the first time through the line up in his eight starts. Maybe he could be effective in the Cubs bullpen. Plus, he'd be cheap. Boston will be on the hook for the majority of his $5.5 million contract.

I don't know what it would take to get Smoltz, but I can't imagine it would be much.

Smoltz as a reliever? You're crazy. It'd never work.

You're right, TJ. I don't know what I was thinking.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.

Theriot, Bradley, DLee, Fox (3B), Fuku, Soriano, Baker, Hill and Wells

RICH HILL had his labrum surgery and as it turned out his shoulder wasn't as bad as previously thought once they got a look.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/orioles/bal-ori...

terrible DP call costs Cubs a run...

Vintage Lou today on the ridiculous blown call on the double play in the second. Thanks umpires... not only can we not keep the team healthy, but we have the umpires playing against us too.

Cubs got Gucci-bagged and Lou got tossed...cost the cubs a run

3 innings 3 errors, Go Defense Go

17 hits
Bradley and Theriot combine for 6/10 at the top of the order
The 3,4,5 hitters all have two hit days
We get 5 doubles and a triple
7 hitters have multi-hit days

how do we turn all that into only 4 runs?

butt ugly today. if the team can't find a way to play .500 or better on the road, ain't no way they make the playoffs.

Re Sunday Funnies, wasn't this story posted once already?

If they can win tomorrow, they can still amazingly finish this trip 5-5. Feels more like 2-8.

I know it sucks to lose but maybe Bradley likes the 2 hole. Could be all good if they can hang in there.

BTW, I really hate the fucking Cardinals. I'd like to see St. Louis drop its dirty wad into the Mississippi and float into the gulf and get blown up by colliding into a fucking oil rig.

Other than that I'm feeling pretty well at peace.

It's funny how having far-and-away the best player in baseball tends to make your team a contender every year, regardless of what's around him. Sucks for us.

http://danny-knobler.blogs.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs...

also thinks WSox put claim in on Rios, Blue Jays won't move him unless they get something worthwhile for him. Retards.

Rays putting a lot of claims in on low-salary players to block Rsox/Yanks...

and please take a new photo Danny Knobler...

nice photo...harvey pekar approves.

I would really be shocked if Rios gets pulled off of waivers. They have Snider waiting. Maybe Riccardi just can't admit to himself that he made a bad deal.

http://espn.go.com/chicago/columns/blog?post=43872...

Levine says Lilly could be back the 17th, Z the 23rd...although he says Z could return when he's eligible to come off the DL, which in actuality is the 17th.

Submitted by Sweet Lou on Sun, 08/09/2009 - 12:00pm.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.

==============================

SWEET LOU: When a player is "Designated for Assignment" (DFA'd) it actually means he was placed on his club's Designated List. A player cannot refuse this assignment.

A player on the Designated List is removed from his club's MLB Active List (25-man roster) and MLB Reserve List (40-man roster), but continues to accrue MLB Service Time and continues to get paid while on the Designated List.

When a club places a player on the Designated List, it has ten days to either trade, release, or outright the player to the minors. (NOTE: If the player is not replaced on the 40-man roster by another player and if the player has minor league options remaining, he could be optioned to the minors, but that is rare).

During the ten days the player is on the Designated List, his club will try and trade the player and get something of value back in return (a player and/or cash). If the player isn't traded within ten days, the club has to place the player either on Outright Assignment Waivers or Outright Release Waivers, but if the player has at least five years of MLB Service Time, the player MUST be placed on Release Waivers because players with at least five years of MLB Service Time have the right to refuse an Outright Assignment to the minors and be returned to both the 25-man and 40-man roster, which obviously can't be done if the player was Designated for Assignment. (A player who is Designated for Assignment actually has to be traded within eight days, because it takes two days for a player to clear waivers).

Smoltz has way more than five years of MLB Service Time, so the Red Sox only option would be to trade or release him. So if Smoltz is not traded within eight days (and to get traded now he would also have to clear Trade Assignment Waivers because the July 31st non-waiver trade deadline has passed), he would have to be placed on Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers, he can be claimed for just $1 (one dollar), but the claiming club assumes 100% of the player's contract. Also, a player can decline a waiver claim off Release Waivers and become a free-agent, so players are almost never claimed off Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers and is not claimed, he becomes a free-agent and can sign with any club (this happened recently with B. J. Ryan), and the player's former club is responsible for paying the player's remaining salary minus the pro-rated portion of the MLB minimum salary that is paid by the player's new club.

AZPhil -- Thank you for the knowledge!

Recent comments

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The first 600 characters of the last 16 comments, click "View" to see rest of comment.
  • ROB G: You're right. The QO can only be extended if the player spends the entire previous season with one club, so only the Yankees could have offered one to Chapman (if he wasn't traded). If an Article XX-B FA is traded during the season, the new club can't offer a QO. .

    Arizona Phil 3 min 7 sec ago view
  • i was going off what AZPhil said above...they keep talking about tweaking the rules, i didn't know if that had been changed or not. my winter/spring was way too hectic aside from a couple weeks vacation in janurary and i missed a lot of stuff.

    if not, this is one hell of an expensive trade for what looks to be 30-40 innings of play...including the playoffs. damn.

    crunch 10 min 28 sec ago view
  • Did the QO rules change?

    unless there's a TARDIS involved, I dont believe that's a possibility

    Rob G. 14 min 33 sec ago view
  • I didn't think you could offer a QO to a player who was traded during the season? For example, Lester was not offered a QO when the Cubs signed him.

    Rob Richardson 15 min 58 sec ago view
  • I think the assumption is that make him a Qualify Offer and he signs elsewhere next year.

    billybucks 19 min 1 sec ago view
  • cubs QO, chapman declines, cubs get a draft pick, brewers sign him for 6/90m, brewers win world series in a sweep as chapman strikes out g.torres in game 4 vs the yanks.

    crunch 19 min 32 sec ago view
  • Sorry, how are the Cubs getting a pick out of this?

    Rob G. 36 min 31 sec ago view
  • Besides what he adds to the Cubs bullpen, getting Aroldis Chapman means the Giants and Nationals (and Indians) can't get him, and that could be important come the post-season. 

    When the opponent knows Chapman is out there ready to pitch in the 9th, it can cause the other team to alter their strategy and play things differently than they otherwise might prefer to play things in the 6th, 7th, and 8th innings. 

    Arizona Phil 38 min 21 sec ago view
  • thats a lot for 2-3 months....beyond Torres it's a lot of organizational depth, but hate to use your best prospect for a rental.

    Rob G. 40 min 36 sec ago view
  • chap's a FA after this season. 2-3 months of chapman and a sandwich pick after the 1st round (stay healthy chap) seems to be the "worst" outcome, but damn they're giving up a hell of a piece in torres.

    i don't care that torres is blocked...i just think something more valuable/controlled can come from trading away a guy like him.

    crunch 53 min 16 sec ago view
  • "According to USA Today's Bob Nightengale, the Cubs will not have a contract extension in place with Aroldis Chapman when their trade for the closer becomes official."

    hmmm.

    crunch 1 hour 27 sec ago view
  • Per Patrick Mooney, it's SS Gleyber Torres, RHP Adam Warren, RF Billy McKinney, and CF Rashad Crawford for Aroldis Chapman 

    Arizona Phil 1 hour 12 min ago view
  • That is a hell of a lot if they don't get an extention done. I'm assuming Chapman is going to be the closer with Rondon in the 8th and Strop in the 7th. That sounds great but Rondon #s aren't as good in non-save situations so we'll see how he responds to being the setup man.

    johann 1 hour 37 min ago view
  • I certainly hope he signed an extension. I would have been ok with this package for Miller, it is too much for 2 (well 3, hopefully) of Chapman. Of course, we win the World Series, I will retract this immediately.

    twcoffee 1 hour 38 min ago view
  • @JonHeyman: Yanks and Cubs have a deal. Torres, mckinney, Warren and likely 1 more to NYY.

    CTSteve 1 hour 51 min ago view
  • Rumor McKinney part of package

    jacos 1 hour 53 min ago view