How Fast is Reed Johnson?

 

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.


 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

Comments

Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready

-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...

Giants and Rockies are mentioned...

Would Fonty and an arm get it done?

does this change your mind?

If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.

he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.

Fonte doesn't get you much.

Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?

http://twitter.com/thekapman

submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card

he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.

just asked:

"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"

I'm sure he'll ask that one.

why would you ask Hendry or Riot that question?

misread it.

thought it was Lou and Riot.

oh well.

Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.

1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July

already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.

Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267

no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...

decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...

my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...

The Cubs could deal for any left-fielder and move soriano to second. So don't write them off for getting an OF.


Posted by:
CuBzwin |
July 09, 2009 at 01:30 PM

I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.

Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.

@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.

http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...

granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.

http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html

got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...

6, but it gave me a headache.

I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.

Really interesting quiz.

I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.

I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...

I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.

in top of the 8th...

1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...

he doubles to score in the go-ahead run

Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR

5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.

Recent comments

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  • I believe Willson now has more CS than MIggy. The kid has an arm. Also, Russell is amazingly good on those plays at 2nd.

    billybucks 47 sec ago view
  • oh yeah...thanks joe/billy.

    poor outing, still got the win, go cubs.

    crunch 39 min 16 sec ago view
  • Although it felt like it, Jake didn't lose to them -- he got the W. (Assuming you are referring to Monday's game)

    billybucks 2 hours 19 min ago view
  • Arrieta didn't lose to the Reds. He got the win -- he just didn't pitch like we expect him to.

    JoePepitone 2 hours 20 min ago view
  • almora's 1st HR!

    crunch 2 hours 28 min ago view
  • it's not like this CIN team is lost-cause horrible, but aside from defense and power this is a truly horrible team.

    kinda crazy arrieta lost to them and yesterday's game had to go 15 innings for the cubs win.

    crunch 2 hours 44 min ago view
  • It looked like Hamilton got screened by Duvall and that Duvall just barely deflected the ball off of his glove--redirecting it slightly without taking away much of its momentum.

    At least it didn't turn into a Schwarber/Fowler situation. Hamilton and Duvall are both pretty important youngish players for the Reds.

    Charlie 2 hours 52 min ago view
  • he walked off the field on his own. aside from a concussion watch and some attention to his leg/knee that buckled a bit under him, the biggest thing hurt was probably his pride after the ball knocked off his skull.

    crunch 3 hours 10 min ago view
  • After last night, an inside-the-park HR seems kind of run-of-the-mill somehow.

    Sounds bad for Hamilton. Hope he's okay--listening on the radio.

    Brick 3 hours 27 min ago view
  • SHOW ME THE MONEY:  Jose Albertos has signed with Mega-Agent Scott Boras.

    Albertos has already received his signing bonus and won't see any additional significant money until he reaches the big leagues,  so this is a long-term investment for the Boras Corporation.  

    Arizona Phil 3 hours 34 min ago view
  • I am glad Joe is managing this team and not Old and Blue!

    Hagsag 5 hours 56 min ago view
  • Baez had Maddon's ass last night. I didn't hear the reason for taking Contreras out last night but whatever game management thingy it was, you don't take out your second hottest hitter. Or is he third? Anyway, you don't take him out. The guy can probably play anywhere in the field, anyway. Did anybody see that nice catch in left he made? I don't think he got a late start on that, just tracked it damn well for a catcher.

    Old and Blue 7 hours 51 min ago view
  • Per Fangraphs...

    Bryant took over NL lead in WAR after yesterday's effort. 3.9. Rizzo's at 2.8 and 8th in the league. Rizzo actually with better offensive numbers (161 wRC+ versus 146 for Bryant), but Bryant gets a good bump because of defense and position(s) played.

    Fowler with a 2.8 WAR as well (9th), Zobrist with a 2.7 (14th).

    M. Carpenter leads NL with 163 wRC+ just ahead of Rizzo who is 2nd.

    Rob G. 13 hours 53 min ago view
  • Amen

    jacos 15 hours 31 min ago view
  • @jonahkeri Joe Maddon living out Joe Maddon fanfic IRL tonight

    Rob G. 15 hours 52 min ago view
  • yes. I was at the Sean Marshall game in LF. Lou Piniella was managing. StL won 4-2, so I guess it didn't help but it was zany. Soriano/Reed Johnson and Marshall were the LF's.

    http://m.mlb.com/news/article/5854550/

    7-12-09

    http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?id=290712316

    On a 6 degrees of separation note: Cubs got Travis Wood in the trade that sent Sean Marshall to Cincy.

    Cubster 16 hours 2 min ago view