How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
lester threw over to 1st! ...badly. braun takes 2nd.
wow...villar just stole 3rd (after stealing 2nd) by walking 1/2 way to 3rd and then just sprinting toward 3rd with lester watching him do it from the mound.
Torres for Chapman I think Yankees are aiming high,but would much rather get him to keep away from Giants or Nationals.
The Chris Sale five-day suspension includes yesterday, so it's only through Wednesday, and therefore he will probably start against the Cubs on Thursday. And he'll be pissed-off and rested, too.
Sale suspended five games. Thank you, White Sox.
Lineup without You go, We go... probably just applying hamstring precautions
LaStella (2B), KB, Rizzo, Zobrist (RF), Contreras (LF), Heyward, Russell, Ross, Lester
Nathan up. Adam Warren to Iowa. Based on recent performance, I have no argument with that.
Drew Storen DFA'd by Bluejays. Another once interesting reliever who fell off a cliff. Bosio fixer-upper vs. irreparably broken?
Ken Davidoff, NY Post...
An industry source told The Post that the Yankees had asked serious Chapman suitors — a list believed to include the Nationals, the Cubs and the Indians, as well as a mystery team — for their best and final offers. While that doesn’t clinch a trade of Chapman, the impending free agent, it makes such a transaction darn likely. The Yankees intend to hold onto Miller, who is signed through 2018.
I'm thinking mystery team is the Tigers or Giants
from Iowa yesterday in extended inning starts, Cahill was bad/Matusz was pretty good. Soler (0-3, walk), Coghlan (1-3, double, walk) did play in AA.
That's a hell of a first impression by Montgomery. Brian Cashman having a good laugh on that debut.
...and it's a 3 run homer.
hey, vogelbomb had a HR on his 1st game with SEA AAA, too!
montgomery comes on with men on 1st/2nd, 2 out, in the 8th.
"Tommy Stokke of FanRag Sports reports Chris Sale was sent home from U.S. Cellular Field on Saturday after cutting up throwback jerseys that he did not want to wear.