How Fast is Reed Johnson?

 

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.


 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

Comments

Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready

-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...

Giants and Rockies are mentioned...

Would Fonty and an arm get it done?

does this change your mind?

If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.

he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.

Fonte doesn't get you much.

Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?

http://twitter.com/thekapman

submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card

he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.

just asked:

"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"

I'm sure he'll ask that one.

why would you ask Hendry or Riot that question?

misread it.

thought it was Lou and Riot.

oh well.

Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.

1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July

already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.

Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267

no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...

decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...

my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...

The Cubs could deal for any left-fielder and move soriano to second. So don't write them off for getting an OF.


Posted by:
CuBzwin |
July 09, 2009 at 01:30 PM

I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.

Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.

@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.

http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...

granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.

http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html

got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...

6, but it gave me a headache.

I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.

Really interesting quiz.

I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.

I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...

I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.

in top of the 8th...

1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...

he doubles to score in the go-ahead run

Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR

5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.

Recent comments

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  • ...why isn't j.lucroy playing for TEX yet?

    :(

    2r HR on a 12-pitch AB.

    crunch 16 min 49 sec ago view
  • nathan to join the cubs tomorrow.

    crunch 50 min 59 sec ago view
  • Wow in deed.

    Rob Richardson 55 min 10 sec ago view
  • FOX Sports @MLBONFOX
    Chris Sale was scratched from tonight's scheduled start due to a clubhouse incident before the game

    ...wow

    he was sent home by the team, too. the wsox released a press statement and everything. they stated it was non-physical in nature.

    crunch 1 hour 19 sec ago view
  • He was scratched from his start today. No reason given.

    Rob Richardson 1 hour 5 min ago view
  • At the start of the season the book was that he was trying to pitch to more contact so he could stay in the game longer and it seems to be working so far. Contact against is 77.5% this year and it was 70.2% the year before. He averaged 6.7 IP/game last year and so far it's 7 IP/game. His actual pitches per game are only down to 106.1/game from 107.2/game last year but if he's able to go a bit farther into games without throwing more pitches and without giving up more runs that is a good thing.

    johann 2 hours 8 min ago view
  • sale's skills and insane value makes it almost too hard to have a market for the guy...he's got 3/38m owed to him over 3 seasons (2 team options). he could easily pull in 30m/yr if he was on the market as a FA.

    he's throwing a bit differently this season, especially with more sliders and less changeups like earlier in his career, but all his stuff still looks great even if the HRs are a little elevated and the Ks are down.

    crunch 4 hours 3 min ago view
  • Torres, Happ, McKinney, Jimenez, and Candelario for Sale. Deal or no deal?

    "The White Sox are reportedly asking for “five top prospects” for Chris Sale, FanRag Sports’ Jon Heyman reports."

    John Beasley 4 hours 16 min ago view
  • Unless he develops 30+ HR power and keeps his walk rate close to his K rate at the MLB level, he's not going to turn into Prince Fielder. And even if he does turn into Prince Fielder, he's gonna have a short prime. His very limited athleticism is likely to also detract some value from his ability to reach base--I don't buy making an out as being preferable to base clogging, but you'd certainly prefer just about any base runner other than Vogelbach, David Ortiz, etc.

    Charlie 4 hours 47 min ago view
  • seeing as arod has played a total of 27.1 innings of D at 1st/3rd and somehow managed a -0.5 dWAR with his 1 error at 1st and an overall positive total zone rating...he might end up even more in the shitter via the characteristics/flaws/whatever of how some sites determine various WAR values. dWAR doesn't directly lead to a WAR value, but the 2 main entities pushing the most popular variations of WAR sometimes lead to some interesting discrepancies in value.

    crunch 5 hours 3 min ago view
  • I have a lot of faith in Baez that he's going to turn into a more consistent, solid player. It looks like it took him about a half season or so of futility at the plate to figure out he was not talented enough to get away with the crazy approach he had. I think his running game will eventually have a more measured aggression.

    Charlie 8 hours 57 min ago view
  • I hope the D and bullpen show up. Cubs haven't had much luck against Davies, and he's been going well lately. A little uncomfortable with the Cards only 6.5 back--feels like they're right on our tails compared to the 11 game lead I've grown accustomed to.

    Charlie 9 hours 1 min ago view
  • Cardinals, stop that. Right now.

    billybucks 9 hours 55 min ago view
  • In a year or two, a lot of fans are going to point at trading him as a mistake. He'll probably be slashing something like 280/400/480 for Seattle at the time. Of course, by WAR, he'll still be worth less than 3, since we're talking zero defensive value.

    John Beasley 10 hours 58 min ago view
  • vogelbomb debut for tacoma (AAA SEA)... 3-3, 1bb, 1 HR, 1 double...DH'd.

    while he mostly played 1st considerably more than DH for AAA CHC, DJ Peterson is probably going to see most of the time at 1st for AAA SEA.

    crunch 19 hours 24 min ago view
  • Carl Jr.! Very nice!

    Baez with another "WTF?" play trying a delayed steal with a runner on 3rd and one out.. Remarkable talent, needs to make better decisions.

    billybucks 20 hours 22 min ago view