Match Game

I thinks it's important that we come up with the perfect term to describe the annihilation of the Brew Bitches from the North. So please fill-in with the most appropriate verb. All submissions are welcome.

The Cubs (blanked) the Brewers.

a few to start you off: dominated, beat-up, skull-fucked, etc... 

If you need to add a metaphor or point of reference to the end of the sentence, that is acceptable as well.

Comments

gyro-screwed and what-the-fuckulated Game Thread Pic over at the Brew Crew Ball Blog http://assets.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/11085/2721060882_221fcc416b.jpg

</a>The Cubs (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv23pqH9iG0">LeeEliad</a>) the Brewers. Yeah, Baby!

Divisionated

Can't add much creative... Cubs ManRammed the Brewers But I have been laughing for 30 minutes over this onion article...especially the pictures. I'm sure it's old news, but holy crap is that good stuff. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/c_c_sabathia_prince_fielder_keep

That is the best Onion article ever.

Gotta disagree: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28812

Sorry. Not as funny. Those pictures of Fielder as the burger and Sabathia as the hotdog are still making me laugh. That's not to say I don't like your article. It's great and clever but it's not in the same league as Blockhead's.

That's ok. I didn't write it. I always just find their religious stuff funnier than the sports.

my favorite: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47426

I've always been partial to this one: http://origin.theonion.com/content/node/27656

The Cubs (played good baseball against) the Brewers.

oh no you didn't...

I know. I'm naughty.

The Cubs (pwned) the Brewers.

Ummm... I think you had a typo. Did you mean "owned?" :)

The Cubs BeaArthured the Brewers.

The Cubs Bukkaked the Brewers

The Cubs [censored] the Brewers. Oh MVN -- I don't miss you at all.

Gene, I'm going with "had anal sex with from the top position." If nothing else, I'm certain I at least matched Charles Nelson Riley.

Silly me, i would have been happy with a split!

The Cubs Boguslawed the Brewers like a toothless Sox fan.

"bitch-slapped"

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cock fucked

The Cubs "lillyzdempsterhardened" the Brewers. Sounds Norwegian or Germanic... say it fast.

but the Nats lineup for tonight does not have one hitter with an OPS over .800 or a single hitter with an OBP over .340.

The Cubs burninated the Brewers!!

HARDEN was a man I mean, he was a dragon man Or maybe he was just a dragon But he was still HARDEN! HARDEN! Burninating the countryside, Burninating the Brewers Burninating all the peoples And their thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!

I said CONSUMMATE K's! CONSUMMATE!

The Cubs [SOTOmized] the Brewers.

The Cubs read them the riot act

<i>"We don't like the fact that we allowed their fans to come into our park and have a four-day party," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. "But that's our fault."</i> http://mlb.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20080731&content_id=3230746&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

the Cubs braunschweigered the Brewers...

The Cubs "<a href="http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/sports/brew/img/jul03/saus709.jpg">Randall Simon-ed</a>" the Brewers.

This was my joke too, but I was going with 'Sausage Slapped' and post the link.

The Cubs outclassed the Brewers. They could have easily won the first 2 games if it wasnt for some bad defensive plays. Milwaukee showed in this series that they have not grown as baseball team from last year.

the Cubs blunt force trauma-ed the Brewers [who by the way look like crap as a group in uniform; between them Sheets, Hardy, Hart, Fatboy, et. al look like a bad pajama party]...

I think the Cubs , made 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat.

I am horrified to say this, but I think Chad wins.

and boom goes the dynamite!

The bomb diggity, yo.

The cubs "Barretted" the Brew crew

Randall Simon'ed gets my vote, but Chad and Whipple are up there as well. Lee Elia'd isn't bad either.

8-4 in the bottom of the 8th. Could be 5 games up with our favorite whipping boys coming to town minus Nady and Bay.

Five games up! WOO! Quite the change from five days ago. =)

The Cubs "oops-maybe-we-shouldn't-have-traded-all-of-our-best-prospects-for-three-months-of-CC-ed" the Brewers

took the Cubs about 10 games to lose their 6 game lead over the Brewers, and now got 5 back in a period of 5 games. Point being, there's a lot of baseball left to be played, and things change quickly. Cubs schedule is killer in September, so we need to use this long homestand to build a cushion and fight from there.

<p>not like there's anything like an easy series in baseball, but if you assume the Cubs have advantage in all their home series with they way they've played at Wrigley, the only &quot;difficult&quot; series they have in August is three games @ Florida.</p><p>They're only other road games in August are vs Pitt and Atlanta. </p><p> </p>

Cubs magic number is 49... too soon?

yes.... when it gets under 20, that's when it gets real fun.

ha...from the cbssportsline blog of the twins-Sox game. "Span gets hit on the knee but the umpire says he was bunting. Gardenhire argues the call and gets thrown out of the game. The fans start throwing hats onto the field and Ozzie Guillen pulls his team off the field. And now he's getting into an arguement with a fan! This is one of the stranger delays I've ever seen"

Sox fan bro-in-law of mine just called, says it was AJ who made that play a reality by keeping his head in the game and asking the ump, "was he bunting???" I hate AJ, but mostly because he's good.

And I hate the quality of MLB umpires, who keep believing his acting rather than their own eyes. On a positive note, AJ's antics seem to have backfired as the Gardy tossing-hat throwing-Ozz arguing with a fan delay pretty much sparked the rally that cost the sox the game.

<i>On a positive note, AJ's antics seem to have backfired as the Gardy tossing-hat throwing-Ozz arguing with a fan delay pretty much sparked the rally that cost the sox the game.</i> Or maybe the team just started hitting bad pitching, and it had nothing to do with with Gardy, fans, AJ, or Ozzie.

Or maybe they didn't. They scored 7 of their runs against a guys with a 3.31, a 2.53 and a 3.23. Not sure bad pitching is completely accurate.

I didn't mean that they were bad pitcher... I just meant that the Twins hitters may have just started hitting better than the Sox were pitching.

Maybe it didn't have anything to do with it. But the point of AJ's acting was to get a called strike instead of a HBP. He got that but also got a very long delay in the game. The pitcher wound up throwing 3 straight balls, resulting in a walk that started a 4 run rally. You'll never be able to prove either way exactly what effect the delay had on the game. Maybe it was all just a coincidence that the White Sox pitchers lost control after a long delay and maybe its just a coincidence that the Twins started to hit after being given a very bad call as an event to rally around, but I wouldn't dismiss an event like a long delay simply because it doesn't show up in the box score.

March/April: 17-10 May: 18-11 June: 15-12 July: 15-11 65-44 with a .596 winning percentage, which would be good for 96 wins. Have now played 3 more road games than home games. 19 @ home...9 on the road in August.

on their Yahoo team page it says Lou would like to get Samardzija in back-to-back games this weekend. Says he put him in a 7-0 game to give him late-inning work on the road. http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/teams/chc

The Cubs Kermit-Washington-Rudy-Tomjanoviched the Brewers. They never saw it coming.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39027 This is the best Onion article EVER! Sorry, a little late in the thread... This should be right up your alley, The Joe!

Pie tripled and scored in the first, then was taken out. Any info?

i believe it was a injured hand/wrist...

I was there today, and I would swear out of 45,346 in attendance at least half were Cubs fans. It was unbelievable. Even the tail-gaters in the parking lots were 50/50 Cubs/Brewers fans. It was like the stadium and the Brewers were our bitches.

5 days ago CHC/MIL were tied for 1st and STL was 3 games trailing the leaders. now CHC has a 5 game lead over STL/MIL who are tied for 2nd. dizamn.

LoDuca and Felipe Lopez...of course, if you're not good enough to crack their lineup, you're probably not much use to anyone. BP is still expecting Felipe Lopez to repeat his 2005 season at anytime. :)

My favorite Onion moment, and yes this is horribly un-p.c. It was one of their headlines without articles, "Special Olymipcs T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game." Yes. I laughed, and I felt bad about it. I still laugh... every... single... time.

Quit stat observation: I think it was Rob G. who noticed earlier this year that the Cubs had a great record in games decided by 3 runs or more. This was considered important because losing a one-run game could be a crapshot, but losing a 3-run game means that you were well and truly submissive. The Cubs are leading all of baseball with a run differential of +130. That means that when we win, be bust out the Obliviaxe. The next closest team is the Red Sox with a +82. They have 48 more runs than the Red Sox. The Cubs are #2 in all of baseball with 580 runs scored (Rangers with 610). Oh so pretty...

<p>don't think it was me, but Cubs are 15-17 in one-run games.</p><p>20-10 in &quot;blowouts&quot; (5 runs or more).</p><p>not sure about 3 runs or more or where to find that... </p>

New SAT question: Cubs:Brewers correct answer Hammer:Nail

Cubs:Brewers :: Brett Meyers:Wife

Cubs:Brewers :: Prince:Party Try of Hummus & Vegetables

Shakespeare: The Cubs unseamed the Brewers from the nave to th' chops. Cartoon character w/Bronx accent: The Cubs moidalized the Brewers. Psychiatrist: The Cubs inflicted a closed-head injury on the Brewers, who report neurologic sequelae to include dizziness, loss of orientation, aggressive behavior, and feelings of depression and anxiety. Reality: The Cubs completely unnerved, and exposed, the Brewers.

My favorite Onion-baseball story, courtesy of (one of) my favorite whipping boy(s): http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pirates_gm_begins_making

To provide a Match Game answer: The Cubs Farnsworthed the Brewers. To provide another answer to my SAT question above Cubs:Brewers Moises Alou:Hands

The Cubs [You know that disgusting goo which has to be cleaned out of the brewery vats after fermentation is done and the beer is gone? Yeah that. The Cubs de-goo-ed] the Brewers. More of a concept than a phrase, really

Griff Sr. talking about Junior: <i>"People have no idea what he went through in his career," Griffey said. "The first time he broke his hand in Seattle, it was bad, man. I thought he might miss two years. They put a plate in his hand and he was back in six weeks. Then a screw came loose in the plate and he screwed it back in himself."</i> http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-01-griffey-briteaug01,1,157872.story

My favorite Onion baseball story: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51526

Classic. I really wanted to stop reading it, but I couldn't.

That was pretty classic.

Reading many of the above is such a blast. S.A.T.?! LOL! Shakespeare?! SIMON-ED?!! HAHA!! Where else would you see this shit re Cubs baseball, I ask?? One of the many reasons why I love TCR!

Dotel gave up the 7th inning back to backs for DLee/Aram...Kubel was just studying that video when Ozzie pulled his players off the field. http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/wrap.jsp?ymd=20080620&content_id=2968034&vkey=wrapup2005&fext=.jsp&team=home&c_id=chc

Lineup: Just a couple names from ESPN 1K Dome 2nd Scrappy Mity Mouse, 2B 7th Cedeno, SS, 8th

<i>Scrappy Mity Mouse, 2B 7th</i> I thought it was Little Babe Ruth.

Oh - Jimmy Hollywood, 5th

LF Soriano RF Fukudome 1B Lee 3B Ramirez CF Edmonds C Soto 2B Fontenot SS Cedeno P Marquis They didnt mention the Pirates lineup but that should be interesting if Laroache and Moss had logistics issue with that trade going down suddenly so its not like they had a heads up to get ready to get to Chicago. (EDIT): Laroache and Moss are in the lineup. 2B Rivas 1B Douggy M. CF McLouth C Doumit 3B Laroache RF Moss LF Michaels SS Wilson P Karstens

ENOBAY. Me likee.

I actually really like this lineup R L R R L R L R L

With all due respect, this is the greatest Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27870

I am just glad crunch made it. Seriously though, Yo La Tengo is for the the 'What fucking Ian?'s of the world, not the Rob Gordons.

The Cubs did not only Skull-fuck the Brewers with that sweep two weeks ago!!! they skull fucked the Cardinals too!!!

Recent comments

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  • "never been a fan of using closers in non-save situations." Tie game at home in the ninth, there can never be a save situation. So you're saying, don't use your best reliever today.
  • Sorry if this was covered in a different thread, but while I overall like this new design, the white type on the dark background is a killer. I may be in the minority on that. But again, nice job.
  • It was almost like Javy was saying, "see, O&B, same old Javy here." Guy's gotta learn you don't need to swing hard to knock a Chapman ball out of the park. Choke up, dude, follow Rizzo's lead.
  • The magic number is now 24.
  • Kershaw uses his 132nd pitch for his 15th K (Marlon Juice Byrd, with the tying run at 2nd), and the Dodgers sweep the Giants. Also, Pirates lose to the Brewers for the 5th straight time. So...with 30 to play, we are 6.5 up on SF (7 in loss column) and 8 up on the Nats, and still in contact (4.5 back) of the Pirates. Man, what a roller coaster the last 2 days -- fantastic stuff.
  • Schlitter still pitching for Iowa? Guess nobody wanted him?
  • JOHN B: Pierce Johnson and Rob Zastryzny were likely 2015 AFL candidates (I mentioned them as likely candidates to get assigned to the AFL in an article about the AFL last month) because they are starting pitchers who missed part of the season due to injuries and they need to accrue more innings.
  • I personally don't think managers use closers enough in tie games in the 9th. The mindset and adrenaline should be just like a save situation. You get the outs, you have a great chance of winning. You don't your team is screwed.
  • Also - what did Bosio say when we went to talk to Rondon? "OK, Hector, tie game, 9th inning, 2 outs, 2-0 count on the hottest hitter in the game. Let's try the ol' fastball right down the middle and see how that works, hmmm?" Terrible pitch. I've never been a fan of using closers in non-save situations -- they are used to pitching with adrenaline pumping and celebrating the last out of the inning. I realize it was a a swinging bunt and an error that caused the problem, but that may have been the worst pitch I have seen Rondon throw in a long time.
  • Ugly series save a few clutch Homeruns. 2 first inning Homeruns allowed. 2 complete innings (out of 27) with a lead (8th and 9th game 2). 6 Leads/Ties given up top half of the inning after scoring. 9 9th inning unearned runs. Brutal roadtrip coming up while SF plays 22 straight against teams with losing records. Like the Cubs odds, obviously, but long way to go.
  • No more f'n Pajama Parties, Joe! Losing a series at home to the Reds (who have a worse record than the Brewers) in September is not what we are looking for, gentlemen. 3 series losses in a row -- let's get that fixed immediately. Bad error by KB as Crunch describes -- almost like he was surprised the ball was hit to him. I think if he makes that play we win the game.
  • solid smack to him...right through his legs. he wasn't even in motion, totally stationary. no bad bounce, either. it was hit very hard, but also squarely wiffed...not even any glove contact. it happens...not a good time for it to happen with 2 outs, though. that was the inning ender, easy.
  • Can someone tell me about Bryant's error who saw the play? You cannot give the Reds (or most teams) 4 outs. In this case with Joey Votto coming up.
  • un...fucking...believable... tie a game in the bottom 8th, give up 3 runs in the top 9th...why the hell not. awesome.
  • DAT TIE THO.
  • Ugh Hammel...the new Haren. The 3-5 starters have imploded and killed yet another series.