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Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:11pm.

I thinks it's important that we come up with the perfect term to describe the annihilation of the Brew Bitches from the North. So please fill-in with the most appropriate verb. All submissions are welcome.

The Cubs (blanked) the Brewers.

a few to start you off: dominated, beat-up, skull-fucked, etc... 

If you need to add a metaphor or point of reference to the end of the sentence, that is acceptable as well.

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#1 Re: Match Game

Submitted by navigator on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:53pm.

gyro-screwed and what-the-fuckulated

Game Thread Pic over at the Brew Crew Ball Blog
http://assets.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/11085/2...

__________________________

Analyzing the Cubs to death since Dick Drott and Moe Drabowski were the Aces on the staff.

#2 Re: Match Game

Submitted by 10man on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:24pm.

The Cubs (LeeEliad) the Brewers. Yeah, Baby!

__________________________

That's Manila with an "L"

#3 Re: Match Game

Submitted by CA-Phil on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:32pm.

Divisionated

#4 Re: Match Game

Submitted by blockhead25 on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:41pm.

Can't add much creative...
Cubs ManRammed the Brewers

But I have been laughing for 30 minutes over this onion article...especially the pictures. I'm sure it's old news, but holy crap is that good stuff.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/c_c_sabathia_...

#6 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mister Whipple on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:46pm.

That is the best Onion article ever.

__________________________

Let's hug it out, bitch.

#8 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Joe on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:51pm.

Gotta disagree:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28812

__________________________

† The Joe - 2007 TCR Keeper Champion; 2008 Runner-Up

#11 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mister Whipple on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:55pm.

Sorry. Not as funny. Those pictures of Fielder as the burger and Sabathia as the hotdog are still making me laugh.

That's not to say I don't like your article. It's great and clever but it's not in the same league as Blockhead's.

__________________________

Let's hug it out, bitch.

#12 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Joe on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:59pm.

That's ok. I didn't write it. I always just find their religious stuff funnier than the sports.

__________________________

† The Joe - 2007 TCR Keeper Champion; 2008 Runner-Up

#13 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:04pm.

my favorite:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47426

#85 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Real Neal on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 11:01am.

I've always been partial to this one:

http://origin.theonion.com/content/node/27656

__________________________

Livin' just a little, laughin' just a little, ain't easy.

#5 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Joe on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:45pm.

The Cubs (played good baseball against) the Brewers.

__________________________

† The Joe - 2007 TCR Keeper Champion; 2008 Runner-Up

#7 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:50pm.
oh no you didn't...

#10 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Joe on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:52pm.

I know. I'm naughty.

__________________________

† The Joe - 2007 TCR Keeper Champion; 2008 Runner-Up

#9 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mister Whipple on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 4:51pm.

The Cubs (pwned) the Brewers.

__________________________

Let's hug it out, bitch.

#36 Re: Match Game

Submitted by big_lowitzki on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:23pm.

Ummm...

I think you had a typo. Did you mean "owned?"

:)

__________________________

Antagonizing TCR posters with my my "assinine" "socialist drivel" and my signatures since 2003.

#14 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Hawkeye on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:14pm.

The Cubs BeaArthured the Brewers.

__________________________

Extreme Priapism - Having Wood since 1995.

#15 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Jeff_Pico on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:20pm.

The Cubs Bukkaked the Brewers

#16 Re: Match Game

Submitted by carlosrubi on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:23pm.

The Cubs [censored] the Brewers.

Oh MVN -- I don't miss you at all.

__________________________

The Mexican homeboy.

#17 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Wes on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:31pm.

Gene, I'm going with "had anal sex with from the top position."

If nothing else, I'm certain I at least matched Charles Nelson Riley.

#18 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Chad on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:32pm.

Silly me, i would have been happy with a split!

__________________________

"I will ruin this house with my anger!" - Master Shake

#19 Re: Match Game

Submitted by T-Dubs on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:36pm.

The Cubs Boguslawed the Brewers like a toothless Sox fan.

__________________________

"Enjoy every sandwich." -Warren Zevon

#20 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Hobart Mike on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:44pm.

"bitch-slapped"

#21 Re: Match Game

Submitted by crunch on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:48pm.

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#22 Re: Match Game

Submitted by jacos on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:49pm.

cock fucked

__________________________

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me- hst

#23 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:56pm.

The Cubs "lillyzdempsterhardened" the Brewers.

Sounds Norwegian or Germanic... say it fast.

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#24 Off-topic

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 5:59pm.
but the Nats lineup for tonight does not have one hitter with an OPS over .800 or a single hitter with an OBP over .340.

#25 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mister Whipple on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:05pm.

The Cubs burninated the Brewers!!

__________________________

Let's hug it out, bitch.

#27 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mister Whipple on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:20pm.

HARDEN was a man
I mean, he was a dragon man
Or maybe he was just a dragon

But he was still HARDEN!
HARDEN!

Burninating the countryside,
Burninating the Brewers
Burninating all the peoples
And their thatched-roof COTTAGES!

THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!

__________________________

Let's hug it out, bitch.

#30 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:24pm.

I said CONSUMMATE K's! CONSUMMATE!

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#26 Re: Match Game

Submitted by johann on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:14pm.

The Cubs [SOTOmized] the Brewers.

#28 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Cubster on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:21pm.

The Cubs read them the riot act

__________________________

2 weeks until the Winter Meetings...Woo!

#29 Who am I? My name is Ned. I do not like my little bed.

Submitted by nohit on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:22pm.

"We don't like the fact that we allowed their fans to come into our park and have a four-day party," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. "But that's our fault."

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=2008...

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#31 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mike Wellman on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:29pm.
the Cubs braunschweigered the Brewers...

#32 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 12:18am.

The Cubs "Randall Simon-ed" the Brewers.

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#82 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Real Neal on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:54am.

This was my joke too, but I was going with 'Sausage Slapped' and post the link.

__________________________

Livin' just a little, laughin' just a little, ain't easy.

#33 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Chifan on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:38pm.

The Cubs outclassed the Brewers. They could have easily won the first 2 games if it wasnt for some bad defensive plays. Milwaukee showed in this series that they have not grown as baseball team from last year.

#34 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Mike Wellman on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 6:46pm.
the Cubs blunt force trauma-ed the Brewers [who by the way look like crap as a group in uniform; between them Sheets, Hardy, Hart, Fatboy, et. al look like a bad pajama party]...

#35 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Chad on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:19pm.

I think the Cubs , made 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat.

__________________________

"I will ruin this house with my anger!" - Master Shake

#38 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Brick on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:28pm.

I am horrified to say this, but I think Chad wins.

#44 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Chad on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:38pm.

and boom goes the dynamite!

__________________________

"I will ruin this house with my anger!" - Master Shake

#37 Re: Match Game

Submitted by ultrapeanut on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:27pm.

The bomb diggity, yo.

#39 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Dr. aaron b on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:34pm.

The cubs "Barretted" the Brew crew

__________________________

Rooting for Laundry since 1987

#40 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:43pm.
Randall Simon'ed gets my vote, but Chad and Whipple are up there as well. Lee Elia'd isn't bad either.

#41 Cards losing

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 7:50pm.
8-4 in the bottom of the 8th. Could be 5 games up with our favorite whipping boys coming to town minus Nady and Bay.

#42 Re: Cards losing

Submitted by John Beasley on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:07pm.

Five games up! WOO! Quite the change from five days ago. =)

__________________________

The Todd Zeile of Internet handles.

#43 Re: Match Game

Submitted by 433 on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:28pm.

The Cubs "oops-maybe-we-shouldn't-have-traded-all-of-our-best-prospects-for-three-months-of-CC-ed" the Brewers

#45 Re: Match Game

Submitted by blockhead25 on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:40pm.

took the Cubs about 10 games to lose their 6 game lead over the Brewers, and now got 5 back in a period of 5 games. Point being, there's a lot of baseball left to be played, and things change quickly.

Cubs schedule is killer in September, so we need to use this long homestand to build a cushion and fight from there.

#48 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:44pm.

not like there's anything like an easy series in baseball, but if you assume the Cubs have advantage in all their home series with they way they've played at Wrigley, the only "difficult" series they have in August is three games @ Florida.

They're only other road games in August are vs Pitt and Atlanta. 

 

#46 Cards do end up losing

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:41pm.
Cubs magic number is 49... too soon?

#49 Re: Cards do end up losing

Submitted by blockhead25 on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:47pm.

yes....
when it gets under 20, that's when it gets real fun.

#47 Re: Match Game

Submitted by blockhead25 on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:44pm.

ha...from the cbssportsline blog of the twins-Sox game.

"Span gets hit on the knee but the umpire says he was bunting. Gardenhire argues the call and gets thrown out of the game. The fans start throwing hats onto the field and Ozzie Guillen pulls his team off the field. And now he's getting into an arguement with a fan! This is one of the stranger delays I've ever seen"

#52 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:58pm.

Sox fan bro-in-law of mine just called, says it was AJ who made that play a reality by keeping his head in the game and asking the ump, "was he bunting???"

I hate AJ, but mostly because he's good.

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#70 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Bleeding Blue on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 9:30am.

And I hate the quality of MLB umpires, who keep believing his acting rather than their own eyes.

On a positive note, AJ's antics seem to have backfired as the Gardy tossing-hat throwing-Ozz arguing with a fan delay pretty much sparked the rally that cost the sox the game.

__________________________

Not affiliated with some guy named Al or any website with a similar name

#71 Re: Match Game

Submitted by big_lowitzki on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 9:35am.

On a positive note, AJ's antics seem to have backfired as the Gardy tossing-hat throwing-Ozz arguing with a fan delay pretty much sparked the rally that cost the sox the game.

Or maybe the team just started hitting bad pitching, and it had nothing to do with with Gardy, fans, AJ, or Ozzie.

__________________________

Antagonizing TCR posters with my my "assinine" "socialist drivel" and my signatures since 2003.

#74 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Wes on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:02am.

Or maybe they didn't. They scored 7 of their runs against a guys with a 3.31, a 2.53 and a 3.23.

Not sure bad pitching is completely accurate.

#76 Re: Match Game

Submitted by big_lowitzki on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:14am.

I didn't mean that they were bad pitcher... I just meant that the Twins hitters may have just started hitting better than the Sox were pitching.

__________________________

Antagonizing TCR posters with my my "assinine" "socialist drivel" and my signatures since 2003.

#87 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Bleeding Blue on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 11:05am.

Maybe it didn't have anything to do with it. But the point of AJ's acting was to get a called strike instead of a HBP.

He got that but also got a very long delay in the game. The pitcher wound up throwing 3 straight balls, resulting in a walk that started a 4 run rally.

You'll never be able to prove either way exactly what effect the delay had on the game. Maybe it was all just a coincidence that the White Sox pitchers lost control after a long delay and maybe its just a coincidence that the Twins started to hit after being given a very bad call as an event to rally around, but I wouldn't dismiss an event like a long delay simply because it doesn't show up in the box score.

__________________________

Not affiliated with some guy named Al or any website with a similar name

#50 Cubs by the numbers

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:50pm.

March/April: 17-10
May: 18-11
June: 15-12
July: 15-11

65-44 with a .596 winning percentage, which would be good for 96 wins. Have now played 3 more road games than home games.

19 @ home...9 on the road in August.

#51 Samardzija update...

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 8:52pm.

on their Yahoo team page it says Lou would like to get Samardzija in back-to-back games this weekend. Says he put him in a 7-0 game to give him late-inning work on the road.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/teams/chc

#53 Re: Match Game

Submitted by billybucks on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:09pm.

The Cubs Kermit-Washington-Rudy-Tomjanoviched the Brewers.

They never saw it coming.

#54 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Jace on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:11pm.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39027
This is the best Onion article EVER! Sorry, a little late in the thread... This should be right up your alley, The Joe!

#55 Re: Match Game

Submitted by billybucks on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:14pm.

Pie tripled and scored in the first, then was taken out.

Any info?

#57 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:18pm.
i believe it was a injured hand/wrist...

#56 Re: Match Game

Submitted by George Altman on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:14pm.

I was there today, and I would swear out of 45,346 in attendance at least half were Cubs fans. It was unbelievable. Even the tail-gaters in the parking lots were 50/50 Cubs/Brewers fans. It was like the stadium and the Brewers were our bitches.

__________________________

Does the deal get us closer to a World Championship?

#58 Re: Match Game

Submitted by crunch on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 9:29pm.

5 days ago CHC/MIL were tied for 1st and STL was 3 games trailing the leaders.

now CHC has a 5 game lead over STL/MIL who are tied for 2nd.

dizamn.

#59 Nats gonna release

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 10:04pm.

LoDuca and Felipe Lopez...of course, if you're not good enough to crack their lineup, you're probably not much use to anyone.

BP is still expecting Felipe Lopez to repeat his 2005 season at anytime. :)

#60 The Onion

Submitted by Hawkeye on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 10:50pm.

My favorite Onion moment, and yes this is horribly un-p.c. It was one of their headlines without articles, "Special Olymipcs T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game."

Yes. I laughed, and I felt bad about it. I still laugh... every... single... time.

__________________________

Extreme Priapism - Having Wood since 1995.

#61 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Hawkeye on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 11:14pm.

Quit stat observation:

I think it was Rob G. who noticed earlier this year that the Cubs had a great record in games decided by 3 runs or more. This was considered important because losing a one-run game could be a crapshot, but losing a 3-run game means that you were well and truly submissive.

The Cubs are leading all of baseball with a run differential of +130.
That means that when we win, be bust out the Obliviaxe.
The next closest team is the Red Sox with a +82. They have 48 more runs than the Red Sox.

The Cubs are #2 in all of baseball with 580 runs scored (Rangers with 610).

Oh so pretty...

__________________________

Extreme Priapism - Having Wood since 1995.

#62 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Rob G. on Thu, 07/31/2008 - 11:19pm.

don't think it was me, but Cubs are 15-17 in one-run games.

20-10 in "blowouts" (5 runs or more).

not sure about 3 runs or more or where to find that... 

#63 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Jackstraw on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 12:44am.

New SAT question:

Cubs:Brewers

correct answer

Hammer:Nail

__________________________

I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate.

#75 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Wes on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:04am.

Cubs:Brewers :: Brett Meyers:Wife

#79 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Doug Dascenzo on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:25am.

Cubs:Brewers :: Prince:Party Try of Hummus & Vegetables

#64 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Pell Mell on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 6:09am.

Shakespeare: The Cubs unseamed the Brewers from the nave to th' chops.

Cartoon character w/Bronx accent: The Cubs moidalized the Brewers.

Psychiatrist: The Cubs inflicted a closed-head injury on the Brewers, who report neurologic sequelae to include dizziness, loss of orientation, aggressive behavior, and feelings of depression and anxiety.

Reality: The Cubs completely unnerved, and exposed, the Brewers.

__________________________

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try." -- Homer

#65 Re: Match Game

Submitted by John Beasley on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 6:52am.

My favorite Onion-baseball story, courtesy of (one of) my favorite whipping boy(s):

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pirate...

__________________________

The Todd Zeile of Internet handles.

#66 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Jackstraw on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 7:03am.

To provide a Match Game answer:

The Cubs Farnsworthed the Brewers.

To provide another answer to my SAT question above

Cubs:Brewers
Moises Alou:Hands

__________________________

I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate.

#67 Re: Match Game

Submitted by demale on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 7:45am.

The Cubs [You know that disgusting goo which has to be cleaned out of the brewery vats after fermentation is done and the beer is gone? Yeah that. The Cubs de-goo-ed] the Brewers.

More of a concept than a phrase, really

__________________________

*don't quote me

#68 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 8:59am.

Griff Sr. talking about Junior: "People have no idea what he went through in his career," Griffey said. "The first time he broke his hand in Seattle, it was bad, man. I thought he might miss two years. They put a plate in his hand and he was back in six weeks. Then a screw came loose in the plate and he screwed it back in himself."

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/bas...

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#69 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Brick on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 9:07am.

My favorite Onion baseball story:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51526

#72 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 9:40am.

Classic. I really wanted to stop reading it, but I couldn't.

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#77 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Charlie on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:14am.

That was pretty classic.

#73 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The E-Man on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 9:41am.

Reading many of the above is such a blast.

S.A.T.?! LOL!

Shakespeare?!

SIMON-ED?!! HAHA!!

Where else would you see this shit re Cubs baseball, I ask??

One of the many reasons why I love TCR!

__________________________

Disappointed by "Cubbery" since 1966

#78 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Cubster on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:22am.

Dotel gave up the 7th inning back to backs for DLee/Aram...Kubel was just studying that video when Ozzie pulled his players off the field.

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/wrap.jsp?ymd=2008...

__________________________

2 weeks until the Winter Meetings...Woo!

#80 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The E-Man on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:53am.

Lineup:

Just a couple names from ESPN 1K

Dome 2nd
Scrappy Mity Mouse, 2B 7th
Cedeno, SS, 8th

__________________________

Disappointed by "Cubbery" since 1966

#83 Re: Match Game

Submitted by big_lowitzki on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:54am.

Scrappy Mity Mouse, 2B 7th

I thought it was Little Babe Ruth.

__________________________

Antagonizing TCR posters with my my "assinine" "socialist drivel" and my signatures since 2003.

#81 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The E-Man on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 10:53am.

Oh - Jimmy Hollywood, 5th

__________________________

Disappointed by "Cubbery" since 1966

#84 Line-up today per ESPN 1k

Submitted by Chifan on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 11:00am.

LF Soriano
RF Fukudome
1B Lee
3B Ramirez
CF Edmonds
C Soto
2B Fontenot
SS Cedeno
P Marquis

They didnt mention the Pirates lineup but that should be interesting if Laroache and Moss had logistics issue with that trade going down suddenly so its not like they had a heads up to get ready to get to Chicago.

(EDIT): Laroache and Moss are in the lineup.

2B Rivas
1B Douggy M.
CF McLouth
C Doumit
3B Laroache
RF Moss
LF Michaels
SS Wilson
P Karstens

#86 Re: Match Game

Submitted by nohit on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 11:03am.

ENOBAY. Me likee.

__________________________

Equal Opportunity Offender

#88 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Chad on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 11:29am.

I actually really like this lineup

R
L
R
R
L
R
L
R
L

__________________________

"I will ruin this house with my anger!" - Master Shake

#89 Re: Match Game

Submitted by Tito on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 2:10pm.

With all due respect, this is the greatest Onion article:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27870

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Voting for non-Americans since 2008.

#90 Re: Match Game

Submitted by The Real Neal on Fri, 08/01/2008 - 2:36pm.

I am just glad crunch made it.

Seriously though, Yo La Tengo is for the the 'What fucking Ian?'s of the world, not the Rob Gordons.

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Livin' just a little, laughin' just a little, ain't easy.

#91 Re: Match Game

Submitted by dvdd127 on Sat, 08/09/2008 - 6:15pm.

The Cubs did not only Skull-fuck the Brewers with that sweep two weeks ago!!! they skull fucked the Cardinals too!!!