Game 38 Recap: Cubs 12, Padres 3

Juggernaut

W - Zambrano (6-1), singling up the middle

L - Wolf (2-3), the pitiable foes who resist us

Box Score, Photos

Things to Take from This Game

1. Crooked Numbers

The Cubs put up six in the fifth and five in the sixth. For the life of me, I am not sure I've ever seen as many singles up the middle as I saw in this game. The big innings featured a home run, two doubles, five walks and six singles, five of them back up the middle. Len tells us that the Cubs lead the world in innings scoring 5 or more runs, with 13 so far this year.

2. (Sort of) Efficient Z

Zambrano cruised through the first and second innings on 9 pitches each. Even after laboring through the third, he needed just 95 pitches to go seven, before letting the bullpen protect a 9 run lead

3. Soriano heats up.

Soriano followed up yesterday's big game with another. A home run, a double, two RBI and two Runs scored. Welcome back.

4. Kouzmanoff's error

With the bases loaded, two outs and a full count in the sixth, DeRosa grounded one to Kouzmanoff, playing deep at third. Perhaps forgetting that the runners were all moving, he went to step on third for the inning-end force. Ramirez, however, just beat him to the bag. Kouzmanoff then threw wildly to first, and all three runners scored, blowing the game open at 11-2. How many consecutive games can Ramirez influence (for the better) with his feet?

 

If the recap seems a bit flat, it's because the mlb.tv feed wasn't great. It's also because my mind got the cyber-equivalent of being dropped in a blender with some mango and vanilla soy milk and served as a smoothy, due to reading and recapping nine full innings of parachat. The offensive-juggernaut game details, and a parachat recap that, even after careful editing, might be in violation of the Geneva Conventions, follows....

Game Recap

Inning 1 - Top

• Massively choppy mlb.tv feed. But to try to summarize, Z gets quick ground outs to first, shortstop and second. The two pitches I actually saw on my feed were fastballs strike 1 and 2 to start off Gerut. Super-easy half-inning

Inning 1 - Bottom

• Brian Giles with a nice sliding catch, coming in to rob Soriano.
• Theriot singles to right.
• Lee slices one inside the RF line, it rolls around the side wall and Theriot scores, standing. Double for Lee, 1-0 Cubs
• Ramirez flies to right.
• Fukudome with a long 3-2 battle against Wolf
• and finally walks.
• Lee steals third. Good jump, and a very high and wide throw = easy success. Fukudome stays at first
• Fastball inside, Soto walks. Bases full for DeRosa
• DeRosa breaks his bat, flies to just in front of the warning track in the left field well. Inning over.

Inning 2 - Top

• Gonzalez lines to Lee
• Kouzmanoff flies to center
• Green looks foolish as he K's swinging. VERY efficient work by Z so far, 9 pitches in each of the first two innings

Inning 2 - Bottom

• Johnson flies to.... wow, yeah, that really is Gerut in CF.
• Z grounds to second
• and Soriano flies to.... ~cackle~ Gerut.

Inning 3 - Top

• Scott Hairston singles up through the middle. So much for the perfect game
• Bard lines to right
• Wolfs pops a bunt down the third base line. Hairston has to hold at first out of fear it'll be caught. Ramirez catches it on the hop, makes an unnecessarily off-balance throw that one-hops Theriot. Theriot picks it, Hairston out at second. Wolf at first
• Gerut walks on four pitches. So much for the Z of the first two innings
• Z gets the attn. of the trainer and pitching coach. Seems to be ok. Ohhhh boy.
• A near strike-three call, but then Iguchi goes and hits an opposite field single to right. Wolf scores. Garut to third 1-1 game.
• Giles grounds to lee.

Inning 3 - Bottom

• Theriot lines one between Wolf's legs for a single.
• Lee grounds to third, Kouzmanoff starts the 5-4-3 DP. Nice turn by Iguchi.
• Ramirez.... does something. Inning over (Turns out it was a strike out, swinging)

Inning 4 - Top

• Gonzalez singles to right.
• Ramirez snags a bouncer to his right from Kouzmanoff, again makes a low throw to second, but Theriot picks it for the force out. No play at first.
• Green K's looking at what I think was a slider. BJB calls it a backdoor sinker.
• Hairston K's swinging at a slider.

Inning 4 - Bottom

• Fukudome flies to Hairston
• Soto K's swinging
• DeRosa walks.
• Johnson grounds into the 6-4 force

Inning 5 - Top

• Bard hits one to the left-center warning track, where Johnson catches it without incident.
• Wolf K's swinging
• Jody Gerut lines one out for a HR, over the RF well and on to Sheffield. Looked like an inner-half fastball.
• Yes, Jody Gerut.
• LOL, his first career HR at Wrigley.
• Iguchi K's looking.

Inning 5 - Bottom

• Z lines one off the base of the ivy, just right of dead center. Double.
• Soriano hits one just out, into the basket just left of center. 2-run HR, 3-2 Cubs.
• Theriot walks.
• Lee singles. Theriot to 2nd
• Ramirez lines one over Iguchi. Theriot scores, Lee to third, Cubs up 4-2.
• Fukudome with another nice AB, before walking. Bases loaded.
• Soto singles back up the middle. Lee and Ramirez score. 6-2
• Sean Henn relieves Randy Wolf. Puns follow.
• DeRosa lines one off the glove of a diving Kouzmanoff. Fukudome scores from second. 7-2.
• Johnson grounds one up the middle, deflecting off Henn to Iguchi, standing near second base to start the DP.
• Zambrano K's swinging.

Inning 6 - Top

• Giles flies to Soriano
• Gonzalez grounds to Ramirez
• Kouzmanoff flies to right. Easy inning

Inning 6 - Bottom

• Soriano reaches for one, manages to pull it over Kouzmanoff for a double into the left-field corner.
• Theriot walks.
• Lee K's swinging
• Ramirez walks, loading bases.
• Hairston falls over the bullpen mound chasing a foul by Fukudome. Seems to be ok
• Another long battle for Fukudome, who eventually walks, bringing in a run. 8-2
• Soto flies to center.
• DeRosa bounces to Kouzmanoff, who tries to beat Ramirez to third for the force, but with the runners in motion, Ramirez is safe. his throw to first then gets away, and all three runners wind up scoring on the play. Bizarre, ugly. 11-2 Cubs.
• Edgar Gonzalez, brother of Adrian, makes his MLB Debut at 3rd. Justin Germano in to pitch. Presumably a double switch
• Wild Pitch, DeRosa goes to third
• and Johnson singles back up the middle, 12-2.
• Zambrano also goes back up the middle, Johnson to third. Seems like there's been a ton of balls hit back through the middle today.
• Soriano flies to Gerut

Inning 7 - Top

• Pie in center, Johnson to left, Soriano out. Cedeno at 2B, DeRosa to 3B, Ramirez out.
• Green grounds a single into the hole. Theriot able to smother it, but no play.
• Hairston 6-4 FC.
• Gard grounds out to LEe, Hairston to 2nd
• Gonzalez singles through the middle, driving in 12-3
• Gerut walks. Gonzalez to second
• Iguchi grounds out to Theriot.

Inning 7 - Bottom

• Paul McAnulty in right, Giles out
• and Theriot flies out to him.
• Ward hits for Lee, walks.
• and Cedeno grounds into the 6-4-3.

Inning 8 - Top

• Blanco in for Soto, Eyre in for Z.
• McAnulty cues one down to third. It takes a weird hop so that DeRosa winds up over-running it, and he sort of swipes his glove hand behind him. Grabs it, throws him out at first.
• Adrian Gonzalez grounds to Ward.
• Germano, hitting for himself, splits a wide open gap in left-center for a double.
• Eyre out, Howry in.
• Green flies toPie. Quick work for Howry.

Inning 8 - Bottom

• Fukudome slices one away from Gerut, who makes a nice running catch. Jody Gerut for ASG?
• Blanco K's looking
• Edgar Gonzalez makes a nice play on a slow roller hit by DeRosa. inning over

Inning 9 - Top

• Hairston sneaks one just between a diving DeRosa and Theriot.
• Ruling it an error on DeRosa, guess it slipped under his glove. Couldn't see it on my mlb.tv feed
• and Bard singles to left
• Long battle between Howry and Edgar Gonzalez, before Edgar K's swinging. Fastball, outside corner.
• Gerut slaps one through the left side hole. Runner holds at third, bases loaded
• Mercifully, the game ends with a 6-4-3 DP from Iguchi.

12-3 game, 4-0 start to the homestand

 

Parachat Recap

Inning 1

• Taking/avoiding responsibility for starting/playing "beat up the douchebag."
• Style points.
• Traversing the hermeneutical circle of internet communication.
• Crusades.
• Reds fans' opinions on Dusty.
• Bees
• Carlos
• Squirt soda.

Inning 2

• Super hardcore gangster credential check. Yep, still there.
• Marquis vs. Estes promotional ideas - from chifan.
• BEES!!!!
• Is the horse dead?
• Yes, so go ahead and beat it.
• Referencing yesterday's parachat, which sadly wasn't recapped: Reading Chomsky vs. Fucking Chomsky...
• Barbaro
• A similar debate, about Barbaro
• Your mom is an academic. (Ouch.)
• "What I'm holding in my left hand would get me arrested in Utah" = Bizmarquis
• What is Biz holding in his left hand?
  • Bees
  • Barbaro
  • Beer
  • Joseph Smith (way to break the alliteration, Carlos)
• Dusty has jumped the shark.

Inning 3

• Opinions about Jim Edmonds.
• And Dusty.
• Edmunds rumors. Expected reactions from Cardinal bloggers.
• The woman that Little Nate Lewis saw at wal-mart with a picture of the Unabomber on the back of her sweatshirt.
• Does Rob have Jinx Powers? And what do we do to him, if he does?
• Well, I'm envious of Clint Hurdle.
• Is Hurdle hot, or the woman?
• Somewhere, John Hill is......
• llllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnng.
• Chances of Theriot staying above .300 for the year?
• Banging one through Wolf's legs.
• The Plebes.
• What's a wrap-around series?

Inning 4

• Speedy Gonzalez or Slowpoke Rodriguez? (Speedy.)
• Can Ramirez win a gold glove? (No.)
• Athletes the media love.
• The Hanley Ramirez contract.
• Is your 8 year old a better ballplayer than Craig Biggio? (Most likely.)
• Who blows whom?
• Fantasy updates.
• Howie Kendrick, "the Mark Prior of Hitting" - cubs.
• Swinging with the towel.
• The worst locker room rat-tail accident you can think of.

Inning 5

• Would we rather face the Rays or Yanks in interleague? (Sorry, bandwagon jumpers, it's still the Rays)
• Crunch's locker room stories. ~shudder~
• Is this the gayest parachat ever? (Not even close. This parachat has been good, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)
• Moaning about Gerut's HR.
• Is Gerut really Reese Witherspoon?
• Cubs players from good universities. (Well, if you really count Stanford as good. Eh.)
• Owings vs. Z? (As a hitter? You kidding? Clearly, someone isn't reading the charts from Ruz's article.)
• Who's refusing to go to rehab?
• Who is more high: Slowpoke Rodriguez or Amy Winehouse?
• Making fun of people with life-threatening addictions. It's all Crunch's fault.
• Addicted to junk.
• Mom jokes
• ATM acronyms. Oh dear lord..... I'll never make a deposit or withdrawl again.
• Doing you guys justice
• We've just received word that this parachat has been banned in Singapore. They'll only allow me into the country for a caning.
  
  • I'm not that lonely.
  • Yet.
• The bases are Winehouse. - jacos
• Making up fetishes for TCR writers. (Rob - don't fire the messenger, fire the readers.)
• Jacos watches Babel 500 times, gets banned from Panda Express. I have no idea why everyone is laughing hysterically, and don't want to. Ignorance is bliss.

Inning 6

• Anne Heche and the powerful moral lessons learned from Volcano
• Howard the Duck.
• Costner Movies
• Other bad movies.
• Good Movies
• Just how gay is Top Gun?
• Barbarella
• Duran Duran

No good came of anything else discussed for the next ten minutes. I suggest you go read a good book, contemplate the divine perfection of the universe, and generally do something to restore a sense of decency, order and harmony to your world. Follow the Tao.

• Resuming..
• PONIES!
• BEES!
• YOUR 2008 SOTOMIZING, FUKUING, THERIOTING, ARAMMING, JOHNSON SWINGING, PIE EATING CUBS! - Johann.
• Men at Work

Inning 7

• Who is the most indie artist? (Isn't this like arguing who is most underrated, and whoever you name subsequently can not be the correct answer?)
• Long, tendentious debate about hip, indie, alternative, i-don't-even-know-the-proper-"in"-phrase-to-describe-the-relevant-musical-genre music. Did any good come of it?
• Best live performance you've seen. Name-dropping in 3....2....1...

Inning 8

• Oh my god, how long can you twits talk about bands that I've never heard of, or have heard of but know of only slightly? Yes, we get it, you had very cool musical tastes in 1989. (Love ya, guys.)
• Multiple fuck-fests in parachat tonight.
• Who should pitch the ninth?
• If Ward pitched, would he throw a Lard Ball? (Yes.)
• If Ward through Marquis across home plate, while Marquis was holding the baseball, would it be a strike? (Yes.)

Inning 9

• Lens Flare
• Len's Flair
• Ric Flair
• Rectal Punch - not just a great pro wrestling move, but also a delicious drink.

Cubs record in games recapped moves to 5-2.

I'm sorry, Grandma.